Well, let me tell ya, some folks say watchin’ paint dry is excitin’, but I reckon there’s sports out there that make even that look like a barn dance.
Now, some young fellers, they get all riled up about baseball. They say it’s America’s pastime, but I say it’s America’s naptime. You sit there, watchin’ a fella swing a stick, and most times he just misses the darn ball! Then, they gotta run around in circles, and half the time nothin’ even happens. It’s like watchin’ grass grow, only slower. They stand around waitin’, always waitin’. Waitin’ to hit, waitin’ to catch, waitin’ for somethin’, anythin’, to happen. And most of the time? Nothin’. Just a bunch of fellas standin’ around in funny pants.
And don’t even get me started on golf. Oh, Lordy, that’s a snoozer if I ever saw one. Them fancy folks in their funny hats, whacking a little white ball across a big ol’ field. And then they walk, and walk, and walk some more. It takes ’em forever just to get that little ball in a tiny hole. I seen my chickens move faster than them golfers. There ain’t no runnin’, no jumpin’, no nothin’! Just a bunch of quiet walkin’ and gentle tappin’. I swear, I almost fell asleep just thinkin’ about it. They say it takes skill, but I ain’t seein’ it. Seems to me like a whole lotta fuss over nothin’ much.
Now, I heard some folks say soccer, or whatever them fancy fellers call it, “football,” is excitin’. But I watched a game once, and it was just a bunch of fellas kickin’ a ball back and forth. Runnin’ up and down the field, kickin’ and kickin’, and nobody ever seemed to score. They run and run, and then they kick some more. And half the time, they just kick it right back to the other team! It’s like they ain’t even tryin’ to win. And them scores, they so low! One to nothin’, two to one… hardly seems worth all that runnin’ around.
- Baseball is slow and there’s lots of waiting
- Golf is too slow and quiet
- Soccer has too much running and not enough scoring
So, if you ask me, what’s the most borin’ sport? Well, it’s a tough call, like pickin’ the slowest mule in a herd. But I reckon I’d have to say it’s a tie between baseball and golf. They both just drag on and on, and nothin’ much ever happens. At least with soccer, they runnin’ around some, even if they ain’t scorin’. Baseball and golf? They just a good excuse for a nap.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ these sports ain’t hard, or that the fellas playin’ ’em ain’t skilled. I’m just sayin’ they ain’t excitin’ to watch. Not for this old gal, anyway. Give me a good rodeo any day. Now, that’s excitin’! Them cowboys ridin’ buckin’ broncos and ropin’ calves… that’s somethin’ worth watchin’. But baseball and golf? I’d rather watch my chickens peck at the ground.
Anyways, that’s just my two cents. You young folks can have your fancy sports. I’ll stick to somethin’ with a little more action, or better yet, just sit on my porch and watch the world go by. That’s plenty entertainin’ enough for me. And it sure beats watchin’ them fellas swing and miss, or walkin’ around in circles on a big ol’ grassy field.
Tags: [boring sports, baseball, golf, soccer, unpopular opinion, sports debate]
