Okay, so I’ve been watching Cheyanne. She really goes for it when she buys things. No hesitation, just sees it, wants it, gets it. It’s kinda fascinating, in a way.

Like the other week, she got this whole set of smart home stuff. Lights, plugs, the little speaker thing that listens to you. All connected, all shiny and new. She was showing me how she could turn her lights on from her phone. Okay, cool, I guess.
But seeing her do that, just tap-tap-tap and spend the cash, it got me thinking about my own place. It’s definitely not ‘smart’. My lights turn on with a switch. On the wall. Radical, I know.
My Own ‘Upgrade’ Process
So, seeing Cheyanne’s setup made me feel a bit behind the times. Maybe I needed some smart stuff too? Keep up with the Joneses, or the Cheyannes, in this case.
Here’s the rabbit hole I went down:
- Step one: Looked up smart plugs. Seemed easy enough. Plug it in, connect to Wi-Fi, control your lamp. Okay.
- Step two: Checked out smart bulbs. More expensive, especially if you have lots of lights. And what happens if the Wi-Fi goes down? Do I live in darkness?
- Step three: Thought about those smart speakers. Do I really want a company listening in all the time? Felt a bit weird.
What I actually did: Nothing. Well, almost nothing. I spent like two evenings reading reviews and comparing prices. Got overwhelmed. Got slightly paranoid about privacy with the speakers. And then I just… stopped looking.

Instead, I bought a new lampshade. For my perfectly functional, non-smart lamp. It was on sale. And I bought one of those timer plugs, the old-school kind with the little pins you push in. Not smart, needs no Wi-Fi, costs next to nothing. Plugged my lamp into it.
So now my lamp turns on by itself in the evening. Kinda smart? Ish? Cheyanne’s got her voice commands and phone apps. I’ve got a plastic dial with pins. But hey, it works. Didn’t cost much, and no corporation is listening to me through my light fixtures. Felt like a small victory against the relentless march of ‘smart’ everything. Cheyanne can have her connected world; I’ll stick with my clunky timer and my new lampshade for now. It’s less stressful, honestly.