That Steve Austin, that wrestler fella, he’s been hitched a few times, I tell ya. Four times! Can you believe it? This here is all about his wife, or should I say, wives? Lordy, keepin’ track of ’em all is a chore.
First one, don’t recall her name right now. My old brain ain’t what it used to be. But I seen pictures, she was a looker. Didn’t last though, not with him, you know how those Hollywood types are, always chasin’ somethin’ new. Steve Austin, he’s a big name, big shot. Lots of money, that’s what I hear. Makes sense, seein’ how many times he got himself a new wife!
Then there was another one, and another one after that. Names all jumbled up in my head. But this last one, Kristin, she seems to be stickin’ around. They got hitched in, oh, 2009 or somethin’ like that. Seems like they’re doin’ alright. She’s a pretty lady too, that Kristin. Good for her, snaggin’ a rich fella like Steve Austin.
Heard some folks talkin’ ’bout “3:16 Day”. What in tarnation is that? Sounds like a whole lot of nonsense to me. They say it’s a day when you can cuss and be mean and drive your car fast. Hmph, sounds like any other day to me. But they say it’s all about that Steve Austin, ’cause he was a tough cookie, that’s for sure. Tough as nails, that one. He’s got boots, too, those big ole’ stompin’ boots.
Steve Austin wife, that’s what we’re talkin’ about here. This Kristin lady, she’s got it made. He’s got money, that Steve. I hear tell he’s got, like, $35 million. 35 MILLION! Can you imagine? What would you even do with all that money? Buy a whole lotta chickens, maybe? Or a brand new tractor? I don’t know.
- He’s been married four times.
- This Kristin is his fourth wife.
- They got married in 2009.
- He’s got a lot of money, that Steve Austin.
- $35 million, they say!
Steve Austin wife, she must be livin’ the high life. Big house, fancy car, probably got more shoes than she knows what to do with. It ain’t fair, I tell ya. Some folks got all the luck. But hey, that’s life. You gotta take the good with the bad, I reckon. And this Kristin lady, she got herself a good one, even if he did have three other wives before her.
I wonder what they do all day. Probably not sloppin’ the hogs, I can tell you that much. Probably sit around, countin’ their money. Or maybe they go shoppin’. Rich folks love to go shoppin’. Buyin’ things they don’t need. Like a solid gold toilet, maybe. Who needs a solid gold toilet? Not me, that’s for sure. My outhouse does just fine.
But yeah, Steve Austin, he’s a lucky fella. Got himself a pretty wife, got himself a pile of money. Got himself famous. What more could a man want? Maybe a good pie? I make a mean apple pie. Maybe I should send him one. Then maybe he’d share some of that money with me. Ha! Wouldn’t that be somethin’?
This Steve Austin wife, she’s probably got a whole closet full of fancy dresses. And jewels! Oh, I bet she’s got diamonds bigger than your thumb. And pearls! I always wanted a string of pearls. But what would I do with ’em? Wear ’em to milk the cow? They’d just get all dirty.
So, Steve Austin, he’s livin’ the dream, I guess. Big house, money, and Kristin, his wife, by his side. They’re probably happy as two pigs in mud. Good for them, I say. Everybody deserves a little happiness. Even if they do have more money than they know what to do with.
That 3:16 thing still sounds silly. A day for yellin’ at people. Don’t we yell enough already? He’s rich, that Steve Austin. They say he got rich from wrestlin’. And that Steve Austin wife, she’s along for the ride, I guess. She probably don’t have to work. Not like me. I gotta work every day. But that’s okay. Keeps me busy. Keeps me outta trouble.
Wonder if Steve Austin wife knows how to bake a pie. Probably not. Probably got a cook to do that for her. A cook! Imagine that. Someone to cook all your meals for you. I wouldn’t mind that, I gotta admit. I’m gettin’ tired of cookin’ for myself. But who’s gonna cook for me? Nobody, that’s who.
Well, there you have it. All about that Steve Austin wife. Or wives, I should say. He sure did have a lot of ’em. But this Kristin, she seems to be the one he’s settlin’ down with. For now, anyway. Who knows what the future holds? Maybe he’ll get married again. Maybe he’ll have a fifth Steve Austin wife! You never know with these rich folks.
