That Rory, oh, that Rory. How often does Rory choke? More often than a chicken bone stuck in your throat, I tell ya.
He’s got all the fancy swings and the shiny clubs. But when it comes to winning, he sometimes just falls apart like a cheap sweater. It makes me wanna holler, just watching him.
Rory’s Big Oopsies
He was playin’ that big U.S. Open thing. You know, the one where they wear them silly pants and hit that little white ball around. Well, he was doin’ real good, like a prize-winning pig at the county fair. Then, bam! He started missin’ those easy shots.
- First, it was that little putt on the 16th hole. So close, you could spit on it. But he missed!
- Then, on the 18th, another one! He just couldn’t get that darn ball in the hole.
It was like watchin’ a squirrel try to bury a nut in frozen ground. Just painful. He choked harder than a dog on a big piece of meat.
What Went Wrong With Rory?
Some folks say it’s all in his head. Like he gets scared or somethin’. He starts thinkin’ too much, I reckon. Just like when you’re tryin’ to thread a needle, and you keep lickin’ the thread, and it just gets worse.
Others say he just forgot what he was doin’. Like he got distracted by a butterfly or somethin’. He just lost his way, like a lost puppy.
Me? I think he just got tired. All that walkin’ and swingin’. It’s hard work, you know. Even for a young fella like him. Rory is a good boy, but he just can’t handle the pressure sometimes. He needs to toughen up, like an old boot.
The Masters Mess-Up
And don’t even get me started on that Masters thing a few years back. 2011, it was. He was leadin’ the whole dang thing. Then, poof! He fell apart like a house of cards in a hurricane.
He ended up way behind. Ten strokes! Can you believe it? It was a bigger choke than when old Mr. Johnson tried to eat that whole pie in one bite.
He said somethin’ about it bein’ a Sunday at a major. Whatever that means. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me.
Rory’s Still Got It… Maybe
Now, don’t get me wrong. Rory’s a good golfer. One of the best, they say. He’s won lots of them tournaments before. He just needs to learn how to keep his head on straight when the goin’ gets tough.
Maybe he needs to take up fishin’ or somethin’. Somethin’ to calm his nerves. Or maybe he just needs a good ol’ fashioned hug. I’d give him one if I could. Poor fella.
It’s a Shame, Really
It’s a real shame to see such talent go to waste. Like a beautiful field of corn that gets hit by a hailstorm. Just ruined.
How often does Rory choke? Too often, that’s for sure. It’s like he’s got a curse on him or somethin’. Like he stepped on a crack and broke his mama’s back.
But I still root for him. I do. I hope he figures it out someday. Maybe he just needs to find his lucky horseshoe. Or maybe he just needs to stop thinkin’ so darn much. Just swing the club, Rory! Swing the club!
That’s all there is to it. Don’t overthink it. You know, like when you’re trying to catch a chicken. If you run at it all crazy, you’ll never catch it. You gotta be calm. Steady. But Rory, he is not steady when he needed to be. Not those last few holes, that is for sure.
He really choked at the U.S. Open. It was a mess to see. My neighbor, she was shoutin’ at the TV. Thought someone was gettin’ murdered the way she was carrying on. He had that game in the bag. He did. Then he just gave it away. Just like that. Handed it over like it was a hot potato. Like he didn’t even want it.
I felt bad for the boy. I did. It ain’t easy to lose like that. Not in front of all them people. And on TV, too. Everyone seein’ it. Everyone talkin’ about it. Oh, it’s gotta be hard. Real hard.
He is a good kid, though. He will be alright. Probably not right now. He will be hurting a bit, I imagine. But he will bounce back. They always do. He will have more games. And probably choke some more too. But maybe not as bad. Maybe he will learn. He just needs to not think so hard. Keep it simple. Like me. I keep it simple. It works.
But, yes, how often does Rory choke? Enough times. I hope he can win the next one though.