Alright, let’s talk about this Crown Jewel 2023 thing, the star ratings and all that. I don’t know much about fancy wrestling stuff, but I watched it, and I got things to say.
First off, that Seth Rollins fella, he wrestled Drew McIntyre. They were fightin’ for somethin’ called the World Heavyweight Championship. Sounded important. The match, well, it was alright. Lots of thumpin’ and slammin’. Don’t ask me about no technical stuff. They hit each other hard, that’s all I know. Some folks who know more than me, they give it stars. I guess it was pretty good, maybe three or four stars outta five? Don’t ask me to explain, just a feeling you know?
- Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre – World Heavyweight Championship: These two fellas, they really went at it. Like I said, lots of thumping. Good match, I reckon.
Then there was this Cody Rhodes boy. He fought Gunther. That Gunther, he’s a big fella, strong as an ox. They wrestled for somethin’ called the WWE Men’s Crown Jewel Championship. Long match, that one. Over twenty minutes! They were sweatin’ and grunting, real hard work. Cody, he won in the end. Shook hands with Gunther after, which was nice to see. Sportsmanship, they call it. This match, it was better than the first one, I think. Maybe four and a half stars? Don’t really know, but better than the other one for sure.
More thumpin’ and yellin’
Now, there was also some tag team match, Roman Reigns and those Uso brothers, Jimmy and Jey. They were fightin’ against some other fellas, the “new Bloodline” they called ’em. Honestly, I got a bit confused with all the names and who was fightin’ who. But it was loud, lots of yellin’ and thumpin’. These matches, they’re all kinda the same to me, to be honest. People jumpin’ and flyin’ around. But folks seemed to like it, so I guess it was good. Maybe three stars?
- Roman Reigns with Jimmy and Jey Uso vs. The New Bloodline: Too much goin’ on in this one for me to keep track, but the crowd was hoppin’ so maybe it was good.
- Cody Rhodes vs. Gunther – WWE Men’s Crown Jewel Championship: Now this one was a fight! Long and tough, Cody came out on top. Good show, real good.
And then, the ladies! Liv Morgan and Nia Jax. They were fightin’ to be the first-ever female Crown Jewel champion. That Nia Jax, she’s a big girl, strong. But Liv Morgan, she’s quick and scrappy. She won, which surprised me a bit, but good for her! It’s important for the girls to get a chance to shine too. This match, it was pretty good. Maybe four stars. Nia Jax, she won somethin’ else, Queen of the Ring or somethin’. But Liv, she got the big belt, so that’s what matters, right?
So, what’s the big deal with these star ratings anyway?
Now, all these matches, folks give ’em star ratings. I heard about some fella named Dave Meltzer, he’s the one who does it, apparently, he knows his wrestling. He gives ’em stars, one star, two stars, all the way up to five stars, I guess. Five stars means it’s the best ever, or somethin’ like that. Me? I don’t need no stars. I know what I like. But people, they like these ratings, helps ’em decide what to watch I guess. To me, if they’re thumpin’ and yellin’ and the crowd is happy, that’s a good match in my book.
Crown Jewel, year after year
They do this Crown Jewel thing every year, seems like. This one was in 2023. I heard they’re doin’ it again in 2024. More wrestlin’, more thumpin’, more yellin’. It’s always the same, but folks love it, so they keep doin’ it. I’ll probably watch it again too, nothin’ better to do on a Saturday night, you know?
Liv Morgan made history!
I gotta say, I’m happy for that Liv Morgan girl. Becoming the first-ever female Crown Jewel champion, that’s a big deal. Shows the girls can do it just as good as the boys. And that Cody Rhodes, he seems like a good young man. He fought hard and won fair and square. That’s what it’s all about, I reckon. Work hard, fight fair, and maybe you get a shiny belt at the end of it.
So, that’s my take on this Crown Jewel 2023. Some good matches, some not-so-good matches, lots of thumpin’ and yellin’. I don’t know about all them stars, but I had a good time watchin’ it, and that’s all that matters to me. Wrestling, it ain’t rocket science. It’s just people fightin’ and entertainin’ folks. And that’s just fine by me.
Final thoughts on the whole shebang
Overall, Crown Jewel 2023 was alright. Some matches were better than others, but that’s always the way. As long as they’re puttin’ on a good show and the folks are happy, that’s all that counts. I don’t need no fancy ratings to tell me what I like. I see two people in the ring, givin’ it their all, that’s good enough for me. And Liv Morgan, well, she was the best of the bunch, that little gal showed them all how it’s done! Good for her. Now, let’s see what they come up with next year.
