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Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about them WWE chair thingies, you know, the ones they smack each other with on TV. They call ’em “pay-per-view chairs,” sounds fancy, but lemme tell ya, they ain’t nothin’ special.
First off, these chairs, they ain’t like the ones you got in your kitchen. I heard some folks sayin’ they’re made of aluminum, not steel. Now, I ain’t no metal expert, but I reckon that’s why them wrestlers can get hit and still keep goin’. If it was real steel, like my old pappy’s toolshed, they’d be out cold, I tell ya! You smack someone with a good ol’ steel chair, they ain’t gettin’ back up, no sirree.
These wrestling folks, they use these chairs for all sorts of things. Mostly, they hit each other over the head with ’em. Lordy, it makes a racket! Sometimes, they jab ’em in the belly, ouch! I seen ’em do worse, too, but I ain’t gonna talk about that, it ain’t fittin’ for polite company. They even got whole shows named after ’em, like that “Tables, Ladders, and Chairs” thing. Sounds like a hardware store, if you ask me.
- They smack each other with chairs.
- They climb on chairs.
- They throw chairs.
Now, these pay-per-view shows, they cost money, you know. You gotta pay to watch ’em. My grandson, he likes to watch that wrestlin’ stuff. He tells me all about it. He says they got these big shows every month, and the chair one is a big deal. He showed me on his computin’ machine, it said somethin’ about WrestleMania bein’ the most bought one, back in 2012. That’s a lotta chairs, I reckon.
I don’t rightly understand why folks wanna watch this stuff. It’s just a bunch of grown men in tight pants hittin’ each other with chairs. But, hey, to each their own, I always say. My grandson, he says it’s like a soap opera for fellas. All this drama and fightin’, and then they shake hands at the end, most of the time anyways. Seems kinda silly to me.
They started this “Tables, Ladders, and Chairs” show back in 2009, takin’ the place of another one called Armageddon. Sounded like the end of the world, that one did. But I guess they needed more chairs, so they changed it up. They even got this newfangled way of watchin’ it now, on somethin’ called the “WWE Network.” My grandson, he watches it on that sometimes. Says it’s cheaper than buyin’ each show separate. Kids these days, they know all the tricks.
And get this, they even got folks who like to “rebook” the shows. That means they think they can come up with better stories and matches than the wrestlin’ folks themselves. My grandson, he does that too. He sits there with his little notebook and writes down who should win and who should lose. He’s got a whole plan for every show, even the chair one. He calls it a “project”. Kids, I tell ya, they got too much time on their hands these days.
But back to them chairs. They’re a big part of the whole wrestlin’ thing. They’re like a symbol, I guess. They show how tough these guys are, or how tough they’re supposed to be, anyways. I mean, I wouldn’t wanna get hit with one, even if it ain’t real steel. It still gotta hurt, right? And the noise, oh Lordy, the noise! It’s enough to wake the dead.
So, there you have it. That’s what I know about them WWE pay-per-view chairs. They ain’t nothin’ special, just regular chairs they use to beat each other up with. But folks seem to like it, so who am I to judge? I’ll stick to my sittin’ chair, thank you very much. It’s a lot more comfortable, and nobody’s gonna smack me with it, that’s for sure. And that’s all I gotta say about that.
Tags: [“WWE”, “Pay-Per-View”, “Wrestling Chairs”, “TLC”, “WrestleMania”]
